Introduction
Sports are meant to build discipline, confidence, and resilience. However, the culture surrounding athletics—especially in elite or competitive spaces—can sometimes do more harm than good. Many young athletes grow up hearing words and phrases from coaches, parents, and teammates that, while often well-intended, can plant the seeds of body image issues, disordered eating, and a lifelong struggle with self-worth.
Harmful Phrases That Can Lead to Eating Struggles
1. “You need to slim down to be faster/more agile.”
While the intention behind this phrase might be to encourage better performance, what young athletes often hear is, “Your body isn’t good enough.” Instead of focusing on strength and skill development, this statement shifts the focus to weight loss, which can lead to unhealthy eating habits and excessive exercise.
2. “You don’t have the right body type for this sport.”
This phrase is particularly damaging because it makes an athlete feel powerless. Instead of encouraging growth and development, it suggests that their natural physique will always hold them back. For many, this can lead to extreme dieting, overtraining, and feelings of unworthiness.
3. “Do you really need that second helping?”
Comments about food intake, especially during adolescence, can be incredibly damaging. Athletes require more fuel than the average person, yet remarks like this can lead to guilt around eating, restriction, and the development of unhealthy relationships with food.
4. “You have to earn your food.”
Associating food with punishment or reward is one of the most dangerous messages young athletes can internalize. It creates an unhealthy mindset where they believe they must “deserve” to eat, leading to cycles of restriction, bingeing, and excessive exercise.
5. “You used to be in better shape.”
Athletes’ bodies change over time, whether due to growth, injury, or natural fluctuations. Comments like this can make them feel ashamed of these changes, often leading to crash diets or unhealthy behaviors to try and “fix” themselves.
6. “You should look more like [another athlete].”
Comparisons are rarely productive. When a young athlete is told they should look like someone else, it fosters insecurity and self-doubt. No two bodies are the same, and forcing athletes to chase an unattainable standard can lead to dangerous behaviors.
The Long-Term Effects of These Statements
Many athletes who have been subjected to these types of comments carry the effects with them well beyond their years in sports. They may develop an ongoing struggle with food, feel the need to control their body through extreme measures, or suffer from anxiety and depression linked to self-image. Even those who leave their sport often find that the words of their coaches or parents follow them into adulthood, shaping their self-perception in harmful ways.
What Coaches and Parents Should Say Instead
Coaches and parents play a crucial role in shaping an athlete’s self-esteem and relationship with their body. Instead of making weight or appearance the focus, the conversation should shift toward strength, skill, and overall well-being.
“Let’s focus on building your strength and endurance.”
“Your body is capable of amazing things—let’s help you fuel it properly.”
“Every athlete’s body is different, and that’s what makes you unique.”
“How are you feeling? Are you getting enough rest and recovery?”
“Your value as an athlete isn’t just about how you look—it’s about how you perform.”
Creating a Healthier Sports Culture
To truly create a safe and supportive environment for young athletes, there needs to be a fundamental shift in how we talk about performance, health, and bodies. Instead of reinforcing harmful ideals, we should prioritize mental and physical well-being, encouraging athletes to listen to their bodies rather than work against them.
Words have power. The things young athletes hear from their mentors and loved ones shape their self-image, confidence, and relationship with food for years to come. By being mindful of the messages we send, we can help build a generation of strong, resilient athletes who feel valued for more than just their appearance.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve ever struggled with harmful comments in athletics, know that you are not alone. It’s never too late to rewrite the narrative and build a healthier relationship with your body. For coaches and parents, the responsibility is clear: uplift, support, and help athletes thrive—not just in their sport, but in life.
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